Epilepsy and Dreams / Memories

Every now and then I forget my meds I usually can't go to sleep without them but on most days I have to get back up and take them but somedays I I extra tired and I am able but my dreams are so distrubing that they wake me up. Last night I had a dream about an old friend that gave me a pair of pants and him and his brother were quite the pranksters and ususally hung out with a gang full of pranksters. One day they gave me a pair of pants I took them home and was about to try them on and a huge spider tranchula size spider cralled out of the pants and I murdered it to death Last night withou my meds I was at their house and there were blue glowing spiders crawling out of the vents everywhere. Who know what terriable thoughts and memories my mind may conjer when I finally get brave enough to come off the meds.

Epilepsy Advocate

What do you do to helps
prevents your seizures the best?

I am sending out good
vibes to all my friends !
I have many good
friends that suffer from
epilepsy. Some have had it
all their lives and others just
recently started having
seizures in their mid
thirties.
Epilepsy can be
triggered by so many
different things.
Each one of us struggle,
but as we
go though life and
the experiences we have
are so detrimental to our
emotional state we all need support.
Therefore I am opening
this forum for my
friends and family
that have suffered
loss, divorce, work
related stress and addiction.
Medication is the hardest part
of being epileptic and I
am trying to ween myself off
but it is going on 10 months
now I have been taking only
1 epitol (Tegretol) at night knowing that
the stress levels in my life
are sooo through the roof I should
take more. But the side effects are crazy.
I am sending this to all
my epileptic friends and
Posing this Question;



I have recently started
to feel the pain that possiably
has been caused by years of
Physical trauma during seizures..........
I will start by answering it myself.


1) Ever since the Bush administration
I have completely stopped watching
the news most of the
news only makes me
worried , scared , stressed
and on edge. I scroll thought
the local news channel on the
internet and watch weather
underground app for my up to
date forecast. I do this because
watching the news can literally
change my entire day and
on my facebook feed I oftin
times delete the feeds of people
who continue to post negative
news and that does not matter
if I agree or disagree. It is to
stabilize my attitude and focus.
I am not going to have a productive
day if I am thinking about
being bombed or catching Bird
flu I am probably not going
to move away or out of the
country if the president is
starting wars so I just do not
listen to it. I tell myself
not to buy into fear mongering
and that is all I can do.
(I may be lying to myself that
is the price I pay for sanity.)
Now I realize this is not
possible for most people have
children. I literally cut my
Cable off and I choose to watch
tv over the internet so that there
is not any shows randomly coming
on tv that I am forced to watch
just because it is late and
I am going to watch it because
it is on.


2) I have 2 social media channels
that I use. Facebook and Instagram.
On my facebook I have friends and
family who typically post bitching
sprees all day long from every corner
of the nation some people I listen to
their negative feed no matter what because
I love them and I am concerned
for them but most of the time if
they spew negativity I just unfollow
them on facebook. On instagram I
have mostly only positive people
only artists that inspire me and
only businesses that thrive and
encourage me to do the same.
I like positive pages only .
Because I need this on a regular basis!


3) There is one thing I
have to partake in that is
somewhat negative and
it is for my own self awareness.
there is a lot of self
help gurus that I watch
and subscribe to on youtube. Even if you are not with a Narcisist,
...these videos can help you avoid being
a narcisist or being taken advantage of
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1FowjPUQ1s ........ Narcissist support groups
I used to avoid watching them because

watching these types of videos
can set off a negative tone
for people in your house
around you but My hunny used
to feel like I watched
these because of him.
But he is one of the least
narcissistic people I know.
I also have changed a lot
too now that I know I
can become quite
narcissistic and that
is not good for you or
the people you are around.
When you are epileptic a
certain amount of self preservation
is mandatory to survive.

4)I occupy my time !!!
Make a schedule if you
are unemployed and or
feeling depressed do not
stay in one spot and allow
yourself to fall into a pit
of dispair. Schedule your day
8 breakfast
9 clean
10 yoga
11 meditation
12 lunch
1 clean
2 garden
3 post t shirts for sale
(residual income is the best use of time)
4 art
5 dinner
6 tv
7 dishes
8 miscellaneous lol
9 bed


5)I suggest if you are
epileptic and not working
that if you have repetitious
seizures that always
come at the same time
each day to take that
time of day to meditate,
Or at least NOT STRESS !!!
I have seizures at 6am
but that is not going
to happen lol at
6am I am sleeping
If you do have seizures
while sleeping be sure
to make sure your
alarm clock is not causing
your seizures.I really think
I used to have an alarm clock
that caused my seizures
maybe that particular
frequency caused it or
the fact that it did
not wake me up it caused
me to have a dream that
I was in a huge laundry
mat with thousands
of dryers and they
were all going off and
I could not find
the one dryer to
actually turn it off.
WOW that is crazy
this one that Mom
bought me kept getting
louder and louder until I
would finally wake up.


6)Keep a diary
if you are having
a lot of seizures really
think about the things
you eat and how they
can upset your stomach
or your hormones. I do
think that my seizures
are definitely caused by
excess of hormones in
particular estrogen or too
much serotonin. Not
enough melatonin. Not
enough magnesium or high
levels of heavy metals
in the food you eat.
Many woman including myself
do not stick to moderation
......................
Coke and Milk have an
excess of estrogen.
Like eating a lot of
cereal it will help me to
loose weight but at what
cost have you ever
dragged a magnet
under a bowl of cereal
there is an excess of
aluminum and heavy metals
which since I started
paying attention to what
foods have heavy metals
I have been seizure
free for 9 years
(also somewhat heavier lol)


7)Most importantly EAT!
you need energy to keep
going and if your body
does not have it you could
have dire consequences.
I have sent this link
to only my best friends
that I trust and I
am asking you .........
... this is a call to action
PLEASE RESPOND
It could save a life !

Happy Birthday Mom

Today is my Moms Birthday !
Happy Birthday Mom !!!
well I cried and cried again
I think I am ok but my
heart is heavy with a pain
a Void Nothingness that
just cant be filled
Just need my Bear Hug from Mama !!
SOO BAD
Well I got a few today
But it still did not
fill the void.

Miss you Mom (Cheryl Butler Watson)
All the times that we spent
together and having fun and
when you past all
I could remember
was how mad you used
to get.
Take the time to make
Memories!



It is weird how
the memories flood of bad
times. I know we had
lots of good times and
lots of celebrations.
When the family came down
we would have to rename
holidays 3 days
before the holiday
We started to Celebrate
Holloween eve ,
We started celebrating Christmas on
Christmas Eve Eve....




We would drink pumpkin spice
and eggnog and watch
Christmas movies.
Murder mysteries were
our favorite.


My sisters
and I could hardly
live under the same roof
without fighting but we
learned to have fun
together and not be
at each others throats
every second.

I miss
the days when I could go
antiquing with Mom we
would drive down to
Hurley MS and head on
over to Mobile.


If you have
never taken the time
to go on an adventure
with your parents




(there kind of fun) make sure
you do. I would help
her pic out blue china
and blue bottles and
any kind of material we
could make into pillows.
One time I went to
NOLA with my Mom and
we only went out to eat and
straight to bed.
If only I had
known this would be
it the only time I
would ever get I would have
made more of it.


Mom collected miniatures and
she was always
looking for those shelves
that are to small to
fit anything but a thimble.
I had thrown out so
many of those over the years
thinking what in the
world would I fit on this
shelving Lol.


Be sure to LOVE

People like to be haters
like to tell you all
the bad times they remember.
Some people never
can get over the
hurt heart syndrome.

Others are jealous of
the strength of love.
People say things that
can destroy what
sanity that we may
be holing onto. Don't let
sad people,who never
had what you once had
kill your happiness.
It is hard enough to remember
the good times when
you are mourning.
#depression.
That does not really accentuate
the positive. You have to
push those negative thoughts
way back to the back burner.
No just knock it off the
stove. Let them go anyone
who destroys your happiness;
says things that are
never going to help you.
THE ONES THAT ONLY HURT YOU
forget about them.
You don't need them.
You really don't need their approval.

On another note Change.
Wow... change is hard!


We are set in our ways.
Like concrete boots
that will hold us there to the
grave...If you do toxic things
but you think it does not effect
who you are, well your wrong.

The first step in change is
realization Stop denying that
you have a problem. My problem is
I like to tell people things they
do not want to hear. So I apologize
in advance..........
Life is sooo
short and no matter
what bible you
read or what you
choose not to
believe we don't know
just exactly what
happens when we die
We don't know.
You can tell your self you
do all you want but many
people read the
same book and
believe something totally
different. What it
comes down to is
Do you forgive and
forget and become
bound to repeat.
Or do you ban, close the
door, bolt it shut
and never look back.
If they did it to you ??
WHY NOT?
If I had a penny for
every time my heart
was shattered by
friends and fam I would
be a millionaire.
There are a certain
amount of times I
can take the pain and
then no more.

You can not continue
to water the garden
even when it rains.
In other words your
positive actions of

forgiveness may
leave you feeling like
your stuck in the
mud.



Just because my
heart bleeds
for my dear friends
and family that
have burned me; does
not mean that they
feel any of that
pain that I am feeling.
Nor will they even
notice if you don't
text or call. Then
if you choose to
open that door
again and call them
text them 17
times till they finally
have a chance
to get back with you
they wont'
even hesitate
to obliterate
your soul
another day.

Who knows why they
treat you badly



but I have waded
through the mud to
water my garden
so to speak and
these people usually
chose to believe lies or tell
themselves lies
that play into their
insecurities.




If Mom were here she would tell
me to not stoop down to that level.
Never treat someone they way they
treated you then you are no better
than them.
Oddly, Mom she would have told my sis
something totally different.

MISERY LOVES COMPANY


So here are a few words of advice from
beyond the grave.
Mom used to tell me soo many times.

NO PITY PARTY



GET OFF THE PITY TRAIN


NO EXCUSES



DON'T BE A DOORMAT



Happiness is a Choice


Well I am tired of caring so much!
The ball is in your court.



Wow
I guess not having Mom there
does make things harder than normal